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Hayley and I just got back from an incredible 10-day China trip.  It was foreign, yet familiar.  The country has a rich, brutal, and ancient history.  It also has an ultra-capitalistic, gaudy, and messy modernity.  Here are my top 10 from the trip:

1)  Chinese hospitality is second to none.  Upon landing on Chinese soil, the government greeted us with these representatives:

Yep, before they let us get off the 14-hour flight, four swine flu quarantine officers — decked out in full gear as if they expected to encouter bubonic plague — canvased the plane with laser handgun-style thermometers.  How’s that for a warm welcome?

2) Feng Shui, the ancient Chinese system of aesthetics, has merit.  I had always thought it was a Chinese-influenced real-estate sham.

We visited one of the smaller Suzhou gardens, which are laid out according to Feng Shui principles.  It was beautiful.  Every corridor and every corner of the garden felt pleasant.

Later, the tour took us to a Feng Shui “museum”, comprised of a few photos and a selection of cheaply made improve-your-Fengshui Chinese guardian lions (for sale, of course).  Now that was a sham.

3)  Driving in China is not for the faint of heart.  Neither is riding in a taxi.   Or crossing the street.  Red lights and road markers are regarded as mere suggestions.

4) Today’s best modern art comes from China.  Anybody who watched the 2008 Summer Olympics opening ceremony by Zhang Yimou would agree.

We watched Zhang Yimou’s show on the famous Hangzhou West Lake.  The performance was literally on the lake.  The show had 100+ Chinese performers walking on water.  The storyline was a bit slow, especially for westerners.  But it was damn impressive artistically.

5) Avoid Chinese tap water for your digestive health.  This includes ice cubes and anything else that comes from the tap.  So, I followed their sage advice:  I drank beer for my health.

6)  The First Emperor of China was a bad ass.  I know, I know. He unified China, standardized the written language, created the Terracotta Army, and built the Great Wall.

The most impressive: an underground river of poison — namely mercury — protects his underground tomb.  It’s been safe from tomb robbers for over two millennia.  Archeologists recently found the remains of one tomb robber: a nine-meter deep hole and at the end, a skeleton.

7)  You can buy touristy junk… I meant to say souvenirs, everywhere.  Seriously.

Case 1:  We were on a remote section of the Great Wall that winded through a forest-covered mountain.  Out of the trees pop out three guys.  They scale a 10-foot section of the wall, and proceed to sell us postcards and t-shirts.

Case 2: We were on a riverboat.  Directly outside my window was the water.  Then I noticed two guys on a bamboo raft paddling furiously towards us.  They came up alongside our boat, held out some faux-jade figurines, and opened  my window in hopes of selling me this stuff.  I felt both impressed and invaded at the same time.

8) Chairman Mao had a big mole.  An enormous copy of this photograph of him hangs outside the Forbidden Palace.

9) Geithner was right.  Kind of.  In January, the treasury secretary accused China of manipulating the currency, saying it gave China an unfair advantage.  Except it gave us tourists an unfair advantage.  The exchange rate is 6.75 yuan to $1.  The purchasing power parity (PPP) is closer to 2 yuan to $1.

Basically, we were three times richer in China.  We ate like kings.  We shopped like kings.  And we were treated like, well… rich suckers.

10)   There’s no place like home.  It’s great to feast on international cuisine and see the world.  China has amazing history (a number of museum exhibits started at 8000 BC and ended before the US was founded!)  and great promise for the future.  But I’m so happy to be safely back at home.

Posted on May 28th, 2009 by Ryan
Filed under: diary worthy