About The Site

"But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny" --Mark 12:42

How the actions of this poor widow challenges a slightly irreverant, Linux-using, business school educated Christian. And his money.

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Last year I declared January 21, 2008 to be the Most Depressing Day of the Year. Most of 2009 has been depressing, so I’m dropping that moniker. Instead I’m declaring today to be a “Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day“. That’s right. Sometimes we need to quote children’s books to fully express ourselves.

1. The weather sucks. It was threatening to rain all day.

2. The stock market tanked again today, dropping 380 points. The more I work, the poorer I get.

3. Some guy at work is being a pinhead.

4. Hayley got me sick.

5. I have a gnawing feeling that this pinhead will get a promotion. Or at least a big bonus.

6. It finally rained… as I was walking home from the train station.

I’m not plotting to run away to Australia like our children’s book protagonist. Instead, I’m going to stay home and make Hayley take care of this stuffy-nosed, workplace-annoyed, stock-market-poor, rained-on husband. So there!

Obama’s Inaugural Speech Recognizes Non-Believers

Was I the only one surprised when President Obama mentioned nonbelievers in his list of religious “patchwork heritage”?  In Obama’s inaugural address, he said,

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and nonbelievers.

I’m very much accustomed to this notion that every religion ought to be treated with respect.  Traditionally, that’s been Christianity, Islam, Judiasm, and Hinduism.  Occasionly you may hear about old Eastern religions thrown in the mix like Confusionism.  However, today’s been the first time that I heard about nonbelievers getting recognized as part of our religious diversity.

Merry Christmas?

Over the years it seems like Christmas has had a lot of critics.  I must admit that I have my complaints.  Many of us do.  What’s yours?  Complete this sentence:

Christmas is too…

Divisive and Religious
Secular
Commercial and Materialistic
Stressful
Much Trouble
Cheery
Sad
Much time with family
Much time away from family
Traditional

Anything else to add to the list? I’m probably missing a bunch.

Complaints and Un-merriment

I think we Christmas complainers have made Christmas too un-merry.  If I were to finish this sentence, I’d say that Christmas is too laden with expectations and ideology. It’s mostly our ideology that makes Christmas too divisive or too religious or two secular or too commercial. And it’s our own expectations that make it too stressful.

To be fair, Christmas is particularly difficult for those who have lost loved ones and those (like our self-sacrificing servicemen and women on assignment) who cannot be with their families.  But most of us are really just causing our own holiday plight.  I’ve certainly found myself getting riled up about the commercialization of Christmas (most often when I couldn’t find that gift to give).

What Christmas Means to Me

To me, Christmas is profoundly linked to my faith, and Christmas is a rich family tradition.  This Christmas I have been able to express myself to those I love — to God and to my family and friends.  I had a wonderful Christmas.  For all of my complaints about Christmas, I can honestly — at least for the Christmas of 2008 — echo the sentiment of children around the world:  Christmas is too… short.

I hope that you had a very merry Christmas too.

Yay for Hayley!

Now that Hayley’s mostly done with with her PhD dissertation, she’s got time for the important stuff in life, like redesigning my logo image for this blog. Tonight, she declared my former logo, which had the old name, “hideous”:

and replaced it with this:


My new logo even has two millennia-old copper coins from the Roman empire quaintly taking the places of the letter “O”. Any guesses who designed which logo? Yes… it’s nice to have my wife back.

What Do You Believe?

I got a homework assignment from church today. I need to write a personal Statement of Faith.

Typically, homework assignments from churches tend to be things like “do something nice” or “forgive someone you’re mad at”. I, in response, would perform some cursory deed like put the toilet seat down for my wife and then state that I forgive her — and all womankind — for being so demanding about toilet seats.

But alas, a cursory deed would not suffice for this assignment. A personal Statement of Faith is a prerequisite for becoming a church member; and church membership is a prerequisite for being ordained a church Elder.

“An Elder?” you ask.

That’s right. Mission Bay Community Church has selected me to be the “Elder for Education and Spirituality”. So my Statement of Faith needs to sound educated. And spiritual. Argh. The pressure.

Too Close to Home: Santa Clara Killings

I’ve become desensitized to the all-too-common headlines of Bay Area homicides. When I hear about them, I usually shake my head, think “how unfortunate”, and continue on. Most shootings and killings are gang-related. That fact seems to put comfortable mental distance between me and these violent crimes.

But Friday’s triple homicide was really too close to home. According to the San Jose Mercury, a recently fired test engineer at a Santa Clara start-up requested a meeting with his former bosses. Once they were in a conference room behind closed doors, he allegedly pulled out a gun and proceeded to shoot and kill the three executives.

One of the homicide victims, Brian Pugh, is the brother of our pastor’s wife. My pastor’s family is asking for prayers during this time of tragedy.

I, for one, will be praying for them. I will be praying for my own sensitivity to violence, too. After all, aren’t all killings — gang-related or not, personal or otherwise, global or local — all too close to home?

Poor McCain

Tonight’s conversation at the Ryan-Hayley household, as NPR explains that the current Bush administration has made it tough any Republican candidate and CNN projects Obama as the election winner.

Ryan (resignedly): Poor McCain. Bush has once again prevented him from becoming President.

Hayley (gleefully): What?!? Someone’s gotta be the loser.

Oh well… at least unemployment benefits will be extended if I lose my job.

Political Infestation

Did I ever tell you about my second blog?  It’s titled “Ryan’s Tech Notes” and resides in the geeky Linux/Networking end of the blogosphere.  I use this Tech Notes blog to jot down easy-to-forget details for work.  My most popular posts include fascinating articles like “How to Zone a Brocade SAN Switch” and “How to Install IBM DS4000 (FastT) Storage Manager Client on Windows”.   Hayley looked at it once, and after 30 seconds, summarily dismissed it as “boring”.

Monetizing my Blog

My Tech Notes surprised me with its popularity.  It gets a couple of hundred hits a day, mostly from people I don’t know.  (This blog, by comparison, gets two dozen on a good day).  A few months ago, I added Google Ads in an attempt to offset some of my web hosting costs.

Google uses the word “dynamic” to describe their advertisements.  This means that I’d never really know what ads show on my web page.  I was a bit nervous when I initially included Google Ads, especially since one of the first ads displayed a link promising “pretty girls”.

Fortunately, once Google had the time to scan or “sense” the content on my Tech Notes blog, it settled into properly nerdy advertisements.  Head on over to that blog, and you’d see ads for “Linux Drivers”, “128 bit SSL”, and “DS4000 Monitoring” — all appropriately geeky stuff that makes me happy.

Refuge for Nerds

Over the last month, I’ve found solace at my techie online home.  Everywhere else I went, people — and the media — talked about turmoil and despair.  But my Tech Notes blog makes no mention of the stock market meltdown, financial bail-outs, or layoffs.  On that blog, I deliberately avoid passionate discourse around contentious political views (or angry diatribes about belligerently held ideology, depending on how you see it).

Working on my Tech Notes blog felt refreshing.  It’s a lot like elementary school math.  The answer is either right or wrong; it works or it doesn’t.  There are no ethical qualms, no victims, no ideological debates… at least that’s what I thought until yesterday.

The Tainting of Ryan’s Tech Notes

Yesterday, I was browsing through my quiet well-behaved Tech Notes site.  That’s when I saw it, an advertisement that had ousted my understated small text ads.  There stood a loud large ugly banner that screamed “SUPPORT MARRIAGE RIGHTS. Vote to Protect Traditional Marriage”.   No no no!

It was like fingernails on a chalkboard.  Or a naked protestor running around the Berkeley Engineering library.  You don’t belong!  Get out!  Go back to Sproul Plaza.  Or the Fox News website.  Have you seen my blog?  What makes you think that fibre channel cards and RAID-ed disks care about traditional marriages?  They don’t!  Come back when you have something interesting to say about Unix networking.

Mystery Worshiper

The Wall Street Journal published a fascinating article last week, titled “The Mystery Worshipper“.  Of course, you’ll need to flip past the doom-and-gloom headlines of the stock market free fall and the collapse Iceland’s financial system (the Icelandic krona ceased trading on the global currency market).  This WSJ article takes us away from this global chaos to the quaint churches across middle America, where pastors are hiring church consultants to act like mystery shoppers in their churches.

Mystery shoppers, if you never heard of them, are merely consultants who pose as a typical consumer.  They’re only a mystery in the sense that customer-facing employees don’t know that they’re consultants.  This way, these so-called mystery shoppers can report back on the “average” customer’s experience.  Church consultants are apparently using the same model.

You, Too, Can Get a Mystery Worshiper

For a mere $1,500 plus travel expenses, your church can obtain a mystery worshiper evaluation from WSJ featured pastor-turned-consultant, Thomas Harrison.  He would pose as a first-time visitor, rate the worship experience, assess your facilities, and submit his findings.  His report would typically contain a laundry list of critques, from dust bunnies under the pews and water stains in the ceiling to the friendliness of the congregation and strength of the sermon.  Essentially, Mr. Harrison will measure the “customer satisfaction” of a first-time church visitor.

Mr. Harrison is part of a growing group of church consultants that seek to equip churches (traditionally known for being out-of-date and technologically backward) with modern marketing practices. Mystery worshipers are just one of myriad marketing tools.  Church consultants also use marketing strategies like customer-satisfaction surveys, product giveaways, and focus groups.

Marketing a Church as a Business?

Many dislike marketing churches like businesses.  A wide range of Biblical and moral reasons support this stance.

I also don’t think churches should be marketed as a business.  But I’m going to take a different argument, based on economic reasoning.  Churches care about financial sustainability, not profitability.  Churches — at least the reputable ones I know — don’t have shareholders; they don’t worry about return on investment; they don’t exist to make money.  But they do care that they can keep the lights on and pay their staff.

Running a financially sustainable church takes a surprising amount of money.  I had previously calculated that my church costs $58/person/week to run; the nationwide cost for US Presbyterian churches is $41/person/week, according to my blog commenter James.

Business marketing tools like the mystery shopper or my satirical Porter’s 5 forces analysis of the church are based on a flawed assumption.  They assume that each business transaction makes money.  Churches give away their “services” for free and ask for a donation in return.  This model is not profitable… or even self-sustaining for that matter.  How often would a couple visit a church and toss in their financially-sustaining $82 into the offering plate?

Church as a Community

A community, rather than a business, is a healthier paradigm of a sustainable church.  Most everybody would balk at paying $164/week for a family of four to attend church.  But many loyal tithing church members cut monthly checks, in the amount of hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars, for their spiritual community.

Following this paradigm, visitors are not customers.  They’re not a source of sustainable income (unless you’re going to sell them a set of classes for thousands of dollars).  Rather, they are guests at your church.  Maybe your guest will join your church community; maybe they won’t.  Either way, hospitality — not customer satisfaction — requires you to treat them kindly.

Mystery visitors seem to be a waste of money.  Do we really need to pay someone to teach us how to be a good host?  I don’t know about you, but I know how to be kind to my guests.  I don’t need a mystery visitor coming into my home and telling me to clean up my dust bunnies.  I have my wife for that.

My Analysis of the Church with Porter’s Five Forces

There’s a movement among church consultants to treat churches as a business.  Personally, I disagree.  But, who knows?  I might be wrong.  What if God intended churches to rival multinational corporations?  Who’s to say that that my humble 60-attendee community church, MBCC, shouldn’t be vying for global notoriety like Microsoft, Starbucks, or AIG?

Since I’m not one to hold back my skills on what might not be God’s plans, I am publishing the output of my business acumen on the Internet for all churches, gratis. Here’s a McKinsey-esque strategic business analysis of the church using the famous Porter’s Five Forces model.

My Analysis of the Church with Porter’s Five Forces

Michael Porter is a famous professor from Harvard Business School, who developed the prevailing theory on business strategy and profitability.  Now, I won’t let my traditional notions of profitability and church get in the way of this analysis.  The best route to profitability, according to Porter, is managing (a.k.a. squeezing) the five forces that affect a business: bargaining power of customers, bargaining power of suppliers, competition within the industry, the threat of substitute products, and the threat of new entrants.

Customers:  Anybody who walks into your church and sits down in a pew is a “customer”.  Their bargaining power?  Very strong.  In fact, they decide how much money they’ll give you, which is usually just a few bucks thrown into the offering plate.  That’s chump change when I calculated the cost of Sunday service at my church was $57.69 per person.

Suppliers:  God, I suppose, is the main supplier.  Bargaining power? Extremely strong. After all, he’s God.  Fortunately, he’s free.

Ministry staff are usually the most expensive in a church budget.  Strangely, church pastors, for all of their education and responsibilities, are paid relatively low.  Again, we’ll put aside my personal belief that it’s wrong to underpay pastors and cherish the thought that cheap ministers = profitable churches.

Competition:  All of the other churches in the area are “competitors”, eager to steal your “customers”  (don’t worry, high-priced consultants are here to help!).  Given this framework, church competition is rather weak.

Substitutes:  For me, Sunday football and my pillow are the biggest substitutes for church.  To be honest, I must admit that watching football or sleeping are sometimes more enjoyable than church services that I’ve attended.  Threat of substitutes?  Strong.

My church is in San Francisco, a city that loves holding events and street fairs on Sundays.  Most recently this included Fleet Week, the Blue Grass Festival, and the Folsom Street Fair (featuring penis-shaped ice sculptures).  Threat of substitutes in San Francisco?  Very strong.

New Entrants: Keep an eye out for Scientology 2.0, as they may come out of nowhere and take the church industry by storm.  Fortunately, the public tends to be skeptical of new religions.

A more reasonable threat is a mega-church popping up around the corner and taking much of your congregation with them.  Threat of new entrants?  Moderate.

Conclusion: Churches are not a Profitable Business

Porter’s five forces doesn’t bode well for church businesses.  If you care about profitability, forget them.  Put churches on the list of “unprofitable business” along with Detroit automakers and major US airlines.  Instead, try being the CEO of a bailed-out financial company.  You can run the company to the ground and still walk away with millions.